I usually make it a very big point to not post things concerning people who are not I. I have come to know from a long string of experiences that it gets you into trouble down the line. I’ve calmed down, and considered the potential consequences. And have decided that there are little to none. If anything, the topic is a good one. The family is a significant part of my life. They probably always will be. So hell, it satisfies both my lack of posts, and my blogs general mission’s statement.
Oh what? I don’t have a mission statement? Well this blog was essentially started way back in the good ol’ 1997 in order to keep tabs on my day to day living so when I turn 40, I can always look back and reminisce about “This day in history”…Except for me. Heh.
So. The Parsells. The blood family of my best friend Vann. There is far too much to say about them. I couldn’t possibly even fathom how to cover each family member’s story within the confines of a digital diary.
Quick Bios:
Fred, the Dad to Vann, Aubrey, Emmalee and Jace. Hell of a guy. Nicest, most generous guy I know. I hold him in high respects in all facets of life save perhaps a few. My only real problem with this model hard-working man is that he allows the bullshit that comes from his wife to fly unchecked.
He is an awesome cook. A skill that clearly stemmed from raising four kids, all of whom have different tastes and are picky as hell. He is a big, big man. But it doesn’t detract from his look. If you could meet Pacha from The Emperor’s New Groove in real life, you would pretty much have it. The similarity is staggering. You just can’t know how creepy the resemblance in both look and personality is until you’ve known him.
He took me in when I was kicked out of my home due to irreconcilable differences with my mother. (Most people are kicked out for being problem children. I would say my being kicked out was more attune to a divorce then a split from petty differences.)
Fred provided me with a roof for slightly less than a year. That’s right, a year. Say what you will. But I earned my “room” and board in more ways than just monetarily. Aside from paying rent, I did chores. I was courteous at all times. I put up with sharing a single bathroom (whose tile floor was always soaking wet by the way) between seven people. Ketchup was never refrigerated and it had a weird taste etcetera.
I’m not picky. But a year of such slight irritations nearly drove me mad. Think Chinese Water Torture.
Above all, I always kept my mouth shut no matter how many times I wanted to open it. That was easily the biggest sacrifice of all…
Tina, the maternal parental stand-in. I say that because on no other plane of existence could she possible hold the title of mother save biologically. After a year of observing this fine specimen whom I can only describe as a cunt, I have decided that she is the one of the worst people I have ever met.
She is not a drunk. She doesn’t hit her children. And she is — for the most part — not a bad person. But she is very much like a child in an adult’s body. (It only seems fitting that she teaches elementary school.) But I will never forgive her the personality traits she has inflicted upon her children. Tantrums, Passive-aggressiveness, and Co-Dependency come to mind. Thankfully only one child, Emmalee, assimilated all three undesirable traits. The psychological damage to some of the other siblings from her immaturely is clearly and regrettably irreparable.
It was Emmalee’s outburst that ultimately spawned this lengthy outward discussion. It was spurred after what I felt was a happening so obscene that I could not let it go unanswered. I was compelled to immortalize the shortcomings and flaws of the offending party any way I could.
The situation was short. I was using Emmalee’s computer to transfer a file to Vann. Surprise surprise. I’m on it often. I still spend a huge deal of time there. If Emmalee asks me, I’m up and off her computer before she can finish the sentence if I can help it. Tonight however, Emmalee approached me and told me to get off the computer in a fashion unbecoming of someone who has respect for others. If I had to guess, I would say she felt just in treating me like her lesser purely because I was her subordinate as a product of being a guest in the house.
I, in the calmest voice I could muster, told her that I would relinquish the machine as soon I transfer a file to Vann — A process that would have taken the time only to transfer a 1 MB file to a flash drive. I followed up explaining to her that I didn’t think it fair that she disrespect me by ordering me to do something like I was a little sister.
A blink of time doesn’t pass before she throws all of her papers down, tears are going in less then 3 seconds and she runs upstairs crying to daddy. Though I’ve never seen her do this before, it immediately becomes clear to me that she has done this before. I quickly find out that she is not only a world class tattle-tale, but that she is also as volatile as her mother. I am dumbfounded to say the least and I was approaching near laughter at such an inappropriate response to such a reasonable and mature situation.
But before I could get the first cough of laughter out, I hear my adopted father explode. “Oh man.” I think. “She’s going to get it.”
- “OFF THE COMPUTER! NOW!!”
… No way. He bought her tantrum? He’s yelling at us. I couldn’t believe it. He was defending an outburst befitting a toddler crying for a toy. Too see someone who as far as I have so far seen was incapable of anger freak out like that, first off made my adrenaline glands squeeze down a bit. And secondly, I was very disappointed. He could yell at me until the cows came home and so long as I stood in his house I would nod ‘Yes Sir’ and not think twice. What disappointed me is that Emmalee’s outburst not only went unpunished, but was defended. I just lost a great deal of respect for Fred tonight. And it was crippling to me say the least. I liked always having the ‘Ideal parent’ to try and model myself after. And now I no longer have my basis for comparison.
Look. I’m not idiot. Not my house. Not my computer. Not my daughter to discipline. It’s just that I was offended that such a thing could transpire the way it did. My voice and opinions were forced back down my throat by circumstance, though I was imperatively compelled to say something… anything. I got nary a sentence in. Fred won’t listen to reason whilst his baby cries. Then again, through all his kindness, I know deep down Fred doesn’t have the mental capacity to listen to reason. So I don’t hold it against him.
I’ve noticed the whole house works the same. No one talks things out. Everyone talks behind each other’s back and they just let things build until there is an explosion. I regrettably was present and witnessed my first. That’s family though I guess.
Where I come from, if someone pulled a move like that, they would be popped in the mouth. Were it any other place, I would have very likely slapped her with a significant force. Not with intent to harm, but with intent to sanction. To show that such behavior is not well tolerated in the general society. My only comfort at the moment is the knowledge that in five years from now, when she pulls that maneuver in the workplace, the lesson learned will have been a lifetime coming… and oh will it hurt.
Still, it amazes me that Vann came out so unscathed by such an upbringing. I would imagine that he being the first child influenced this fact. It reminds me of my family a little bit. I am also the oldest. I work 8-5. I depend on no one. But both my brother and sister are likely in jail as I type this. My mother and grandmother are always there to bail them out. But we all know they will never learn their lesson if someone is always there to save them. Funny how that shit works out huh?
By this point I really don’t care. It seems silly that I’ve let a 16 year-old’s temper tantrum get under my skin. Mostly I’m upset with Fred for ruining my hero image if him that I have had the pleasure of being around for years. An idealized image is one thing. But to witness it and know that it’s genuine has always made me very happy until now.
Am I wrong about all this?
It’s very conflicting and painful to have such forceful negative feelings towards someone to whom you owe so much.
