Welcome To My Hell

Right now I feel like I’m gasping for air as if I have been held underwater for a day while being incapable of drowning. Not having a computer is a very, very uncomfortable thing to me now. It’s not because I’m addicted, or because it’s a crutch. It’s because it’s a tool. Just as the car was once a luxury that became a necessity. The internet is much the same.

Example: Sunday night, I needed to figure out how to get to the hospital the next day. So thanks to some all too specific and detailed directions, *cough*, married with a city that does not have a grided address system, I went out, and drove around for almost two hours before I found the place. Had I access to the internet, I could have been there in about 15 minutes. The worst part being was that in the end it didn’t matter as the Christus Hospital complex was 5 buildings large. And finding where I was supposed to be the following morning was a whole other story.

And that was just one of at least four cases so far where I have had to traverse the non linear roads of San Antonio without aid. I may as well have been driving blind. Good thing I’m in a vehicle that uses next to no gas. Incidentally, it goes from 0-60 in about 3 minutes.

Anyway, I broke down and rented a laptop for the duration of my stay. Hopefully I won’t have to spend any more nights curled up in the corner, weeping.

Wow. Just wow.

So yesterday I spent the better part of the night trying to juggle between three different places I had to be.

I go to my friend Trent’s wedding reception, and afterwards to Applebee’s with a few old car buddies from Eliterides.com, right? While I’m there, I text eight different people asking if anyone wanted to go to the club with me.

Not a single definitive reply back letting me know.

Ergo, after dinner, being very tired, I drove home, and did not stop by Area 51 on the way. After all, no one said they would be there, I figured they had other plans.

This morning, I wake to 5 text messages, 1 voice mail, and 1 Instant Message all saying something to the effect of: “I didn’t see you at the club last night!” or “We were all here, where were you?”

7 of 8 showed up at the club. Every single one of them assumed I would just “be there”.

I am fuming pissed. Thanks for the excellent send off guys. One problem though, YOU FORGOT TO TELL ME ABOUT IT!

This is one of those ‘What did we learn?’ moments that I hope we can all remember in the near future.

Sweet. It seems whatever I say here instantly become the next big thing.

The next big thing shall be: Pogs.

Lol. I still have all mine and my BA slammers.

The biggest classes I teach at work are always the most entertaining because of the mix of people you get in them.

Example, today I had two Coke tweakers in my class. I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone they walked past noticed. Not that the constant scratching of their faces, fixing their hair, and sniffing and wiping their nose didn’t give it away.

Jesus. I’ll bet they thought that just because they were in a place that does corporate training, that no one would notice the symptoms of a cocaine high. *rolls eyes*

I just found out The HD DVD CES keynote was canceled when Warner Bros announced exclusivity to the Bluray format. HBO is on the wagon. However, Universal seems to want to cling onto the sinking ship that is HD DVD. Which is a shame.

I better start calling in some bets. I think I’ve made like $200 in wagers on Bluray coming out on top.

“I need a hobby.” I’ve always thought that. I search for them at an almost obsessive level when I am unoccupied. Or more accurately, when I am sexually inactive.

Forgive my blatancy. But I’m a huge fan of direct and whole truths.

More recently this drive has become even more powerful. So, I move on to the next, one after the other. A new one every few months. In just the last year I have taken up two new martial arts. I have gotten deeper into and more serious about my penny collection. I’ve started singing and reading more. (I never used to read.) I have started learning Japanese. I’ve played just about every PS3 game out there. And no doubt the most pitiful thing. I’ve beat Contra on the NES without losing a single life.

Even when I do pick up a new hobby that I take interest in, it never seems to satisfy the original drive and in most cases soon dies off. As far as hobbies go, I have two unflinching commitments that I have seemed to hang on to through the years contrary to all prior evidence of abandoning most others.

One of them would no doubt be car modification in it’s many forms. Engine work being by far the most outstanding. Cars have become a big part of who I am as they have filled the need of an anger outlet and way to let off Testosterone without anyone getting hurt. For those who have been in a race against someone you dislike, (and won) there is no need for me to explain why we do it. For those who have not: The best way I could think to describe it is a fight with no violence, but all the humiliation. It feels good. No drug could match it. When I’m driving a fast car. I’m quite certain I could give up sex permanently.

The other probably being computer generated graphics. See, I am not creative in the least. I can never come up with new ideas when it comes to art. I can never picture something in my head and put it onto some kind of media. Most importantly, I can’t draw. Heh. I’ve tried. I really have. I have actually invested significant time practicing to see if I could get better. — Never did. With a computer, it’s no longer about my physical and perhaps genetic limitations. It’s the closest I can get to being able to create something aesthetically pleasing to the eye.

One might argue that my website counts. In a sense I suppose it does. I am actually one of the original bloggers. I still have my online journal entires all the way back to 1997. Ten years I’ve been doing this. Heh, it’s always interesting to read back on them. It’s like my own personal ‘This day in history’ for my life. But I don’t count it among my hobbies as I fade in and out of it from time to time. Especially because no one likes to read whining rants about one’s life and misfortunes. Right now, I would describe my day to day life and meaningless and boring as hell. Which is pretty much the reason I’ve been such a specter the last few months.

Anyway, for the last few years I’ve wanted to start taking piano lessons. But in my quest I inadvertently learned to play just about every instrument except piano. I’m not kidding. As long at it isn’t a string (save guitar) or percussion, I can probably play it with reasonable proficiency. But I could honestly see piano becoming one of the past times that I could actually easily commit to.

But I think it’s time that I stop kidding myself and surrender to the fact that my hobby is collecting one of the most interesting things of all — hobbies.