Welcome To My Hell

Ya know what would be freakin’ awesome?
Having super powers.

And inversely, do you know what would really suck?
Finding out I had super powers after I died.

I know it sounds stupid, but this is honestly of a serious concern to me. What if, this whole time, I’ve had powers and have simply not been trying hard enough? What if Coca Cola is my Kryponite?

Maybe if I flap my arms a little harder I could actually be zipping around the globe right now. Maybe I could make the cat that hangs around outside my house float? Or perhaps I could be reading my romantic interest’s mind and discover that deep down inside — they really don’t reciprocate that interest.

No one here can tell me they haven’t dreamt of having super powers. We are secretly yearn to be different. We all want to have something like that can set us apart from the rest of the world. Be it for isolation? Perhaps making it easy to leave behind a legacy? (My personal reasons are obviously the two questioned.)

Why do you think that TV series Heroes did so well? Because everyone could relate to it. Every single person in the nation, while watching that show was communally thinking “Ohhh! I wanna do that!”

Albeit my strong belief system based on reality and facts, even I can admit to this longing.

I guess I’ll just have to call my queer, sometimes questionable cranial quirks, and my irregular, irrelevant, improvised yet incisive ability to alliterate — my super powers.

I ditched out on Area 51’s fetish night to hang out with my friend Mike and some others. He’s leaving for Arizona soon so we kind of got everyone together for a “Lets rip on Mike H-core one last time so we can remind him why he’s leaving”. Lots of fun, lots of bullshitting. The kind of thing you wish you did every weekend. And for those of you who are, you need to go to school.

After that, I went to see some old friends. Heather A. and Odette.

I’ll keep this piece of wisdom quite brief.
Wine is a creeper. It’s not like hard alcohol. Once you feel it, it’s only just started. Moderation people. Moderation.

Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us.

It has come to our unfortunate attention that both the name and nature of Anonymous has been ravaged as if it were a whore in a back alley, and then placed on display for the public eye to behold. Allow me to say quite simply, you *completely* missed the point of who and what we are.

Unfortunately for you, this is not some secret club where we gather to gether in the clubhouse, swapping old porn magazines and daddy’s Everclear. This is not some internet gang of pale nerds who will spend everything attempting to break into your computer. This is not some group of desperate and depraved individuals who are looking to ruin everyone else’s lives because our own are pathetic. We are what you, deep down inside, want to do to your wife when she doesn’t make you dinner when you come home. We are what you, deep down inside, want to be when you find your 15 year old daughter sleeping with her 27 year old boyfriend. We are what you, deep down inside, wish you could be when your wife cheats on you, when your son hates you, when the waiter spills wine on you, when your boss ridicules you. We are what you could never be.

We are everyone, and we are no one. We are Anonymous, we are legion, we do not forgive, we do not forget. We are the face of chaos and the harbingers of judgement. We laugh in the face of tragedy, we mock those who are in pain, we ruin the lives of other people simply because we can. A man takes out his aggression on a cat, we laugh. Hundreds die in a plane crash, we laugh. The nation mourns over a school shooting, we laugh. We are the embodiment of humanity, with no remorse, no caring, no love or sense of morality. We only have the desire for more and more.

And now, quite simply, you have gotten our attention.

God save you,
 – Anonymous

Heh. MyFox epic fail.

I don’t think they know what they’ve just brought down upon their MyFox websites and this poor kid… That being said, I may as well join in the lunatic fringe.

*…One hour later:*

Alright kids.

Here is the kids myspace webpage.

And it looks like someone has beat me to finding his house.

What the hell was he thinking? That he’d be able to go the the news and Anonymous would just leave it at that?

You know what to do Anon. GO GO GO

Though grossly unequipped. It went pretty well. It’s quite refreshing to be in a room of people who seem to still have most of their souls left.

Prepping Vista Level 1 today. (The title is throwing. It’s more like a Intro to Computer course.) The only reason I’m not doing that at the moment is because the machine I am trying to run Virtual PC on is lacking in adequate disk space for the vista OS, and it doesn’t seem to like me trying to free it up. If it doesn’t work this time it’s going on the network drive.

Heh. A machine with 2 GB of DDR, and only 20 GB of HD space.

Priceless. But fitting to it’s purpose.

…needs to be locked.

You know, over the last year I have heavily considered incorporating some color into my wardrobe. However, this fleeting thought has been quelled again and again by my peers.

“But Jeffrey, I like the idea of you wearing color, in fact, I’ve recommended you do on my occasions.”

Congratulations. You are the individuals that are stifling the notion.

If I am going to change the way I look, I am going to do it for myself. Not for you. Without fail, every single time I think to myself “Huh, you know, I could totally pull this blue shirt off.” One of my friends, or their parents has to open their mouth and bring up the way I dress, and then, I start over. I no longer like the idea when I feel like it is being pushed upon me. After which it takes me another couple of months to start reconsidering.

Shut your yap, do not draw attention to the fact, and pretend like nothing has changed, and I may give it slightly more then the infinitesimal consideration I do now.

Alright. Just got finished reading. I got it a week ago but have had to work.

Here are your cliffnotes:

Snape dies on pg. 658
Burbage dies on pg. 12
Hedwig dies on pg. 56
Mad-Eye dies on pg. 78
Scrimgeour dies on pg. 159
Wormtail dies on pg. 471
Dobby dies on pg. 476
Fred Weasley dies on pg. 637
Harry gets fucked up by Voldemort on pg. 704 but comes back to life on pg. 724
Tonks, Lupin, and Colin Creevy have their deaths confirmed on pg. 743

19 years after the events in the book:

Ron has married Hermione, their two children are named Rose and Hugo
Harry has married Ginny, their three children are named Lily, James, and Albus Severus.
Draco Malfoy has a son named Scorpius

The epilogue shows all of the children boarding the train for Hogwarts together.

What are you all, cattle? You all disgrace the human species when you slow down on the freeway to look at flashing lights. This is especially bothersome when these lights are off to the shoulder of the road and are not impeding traffic. Is this the pinnacle of your day; the highlight of your week; your reason for taking the freeway in the first place? So you can see the pretty flashing lights? For those of you who answered yes, it’s ok, there is hope. Go fall on a knife.

Let’s quickly examine this.

Why do we drive on freeway? We drive on the freeway so we can get to where we are going faster.

When you slow down to see a fatality or an accident, you are defeating the purpose of taking the freeway all together. And not only for yourself, but for all of the people behind you!

I somewhat contradictingly pity and loathe those of you who do not have the conscious awareness of why they shouldn’t slow down for petty eye candy.

Â

If I ran the country test #2: Testing for consideration of others.
Have subject drive past a fatal car accident. If person does not maintain speed after a forewarning, summarily execute them.

Problem solved.

Apparently Combichrist has changed their tour schedule to include SLC, this was shortly after a long letter and a petition from myself.Obviously I don’t know if this was direct influence, but as their #1 fan, I’m still taking credit.

You better not make them regret coming back to SLC.

August 26th @ The Avalon bishes.

So I saw this on craigslist.org in the personals section and I thought, “You know I am going to post this on my website and rip her apart.” Then I decided she does it all by herself with the audacity and presumptuous tone.. I’m pretty sure only about .04% of the population is going to fall into these requirements. Heh. It’s laughable at best. Enjoy.

So what am I looking for? A single WHITE (non-negotiable) male, over the age of 30, never married, no kids, no cats (creepy and I am allergic), who has a stable job, residence not shared with drunken roommates-parents-females-other various undesireables. A non smoker, light drinker (knowing a great bottle of wine that we can have with dinner is cool….being a “weekend warrior” is not), NO DRUGS or DISEASES, not a plethora of female “friends”, not a total gym rat but can hold his own, sarcastic sense of humor a plus, NO SKINNIES!!(I cannot emphasize that enough…I am not attracted to the Johnny Depp artsy type) broad shoulders are always a bonus, good personal hygiene (I LOVE teeth)a must. A man who is just as comfortable in jeans as he is in a suit. Should be ready for a commitment and kids, done with the partying and going out stage, and looking forward to sharing his life with me.

No closet hags, no metrosexuals, no one prettier than me (you aren’t). If you are a bit of a bad boy…all the better. Love tattoos, but hate piercings. You score bonus point for loving Scrabble, sangria, motorcycles, or climbing through the tubes at Chuckie Cheese. How random right?

Respond with something that totally grabs my attention, and a photo. If I am intrigued, I will send you my photo in return. RESPONSES WITHOUT PHOTOS WILL BE DELETED. I have no problem sending you my pic, I just don’t want to post it here and get 100 emails telling me that I am “hot” and not an email of substance. Major bonus points if you can type in complete sentences. (I am not kidding…how sad is that?)

Do not give me your Myspace or facebook link…it’s for high school kids and I will delete you. Also, please include the word “snickerdoodle” in your email to show me that you didn’t cut and paste your reply to me. Why is this important? Because I took the time to write a lot about me and I want someone who took the time to actually read it and not just skim it.

Epic win /b/rothers.

They were so overwhelmed, they even attempted to play it off like it was intentional. Fail.

Scroll down to the “The Great Reunion”

Today’s the day /b/rothers!

I was sooo not prepared for this class, and I stumbled all through my preperation yesterday, and yet, this is turning out to be by far the best class I’ve had since I’ve worked here. Perhaps it just comes with experience?

I wish I could use this instance to justify future laziness.

But I just wanted to let everyone know that something decided to work out for once.