Welcome To My Hell

My first Spam comment! I actually pull enough traffic to this site to attract bots that like to post bunk comments on WordPress based websites. Nice.

Cheers.

I remember as a kid waking up in the morning and thinking “Holy hell! That game that I would love nothing more in the entire world then to play right now was left here overnight!” So you run to the NES and open up the front console door and…!

Nothing in it. The game isn’t there. And the most awesome feeling of dissatisfaction overcomes you. Did you dream it was there? Was it there yesterday? It’s almost as if whatever experience associated with it did not even happen.

It’s a miserable feeling I’ve been dealing with on a nightly basis with Stevie. She’s an insomniac. And I love nothing more then to sleep. So two things are given, I will fall asleep, and she will not. So every night. I fall asleep, and wake up to no one. And she’s awake, and as anyone would, leaves.

I’ve racked my brain for a compromise to this problem, but it just isn’t happening. Perhaps this is the price I must pay for the company. Every night it seems too easy a sacrifice. But then when I wake up every night at 3:00 AM to the cold and quiet. I want to go cry.

It’s not so much this particular person being gone rather then the feeling of loneliness of waking up expecting the your last conscious memory to be uninterrupted. Ya know what I mean?

It’s almost makes me remorseful.

*Sigh* Why can’t I ever have a normal friendship with anyone?

Day 627 Of My Captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from destroying the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed condescendingly about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event, however I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…

I saw it about a week ago. And Vann made a good observation.

The moral of the story? “Bros before hoes.”

Ephialtes betrayed his king and friend for what? Money, self gratification, a hint of revenge. And? Women.

I swear to God, without women we’d have very little war….Or more so from the sexual tension.

Eh….I haven’t slept. I’m having trouble staying awake in training.

I ran into someone I knew from the Marriott. Funny enough, Unisys in the Helpdesk for the Marriott. I was thinking that it would be a funny and cruel joke if that was the queue I was assigned to…

More when I’m rested and sober.

P.S. These computers blow. They’re Dell GX150’s. 256 Megs of RAM and P3 chips. *cringe* I feel dirty.

You know what I really hate?

Ugly, fat, rude people who think they are God’s gift to men. Now before you all jump down my throat, perhaps I can show you why I felt compelled to say that? Of course, as always, an example. The following was taken straight from a personals ad on craigslist.org after a very short hunt.

…Uhhh…

Oh here it is:

Please don’t reply if you aren’t:
1. well endowed
2. single
3. white
4. male
5. 25-40
6. d/d free
7. non smoker
8. taller than 5′11”
Me: single, white, BBW.

(Did anyone else think that the ’single’Â requirement was an odd prerequisite for a personals ad? To her credit, I enjoy that she at least attempted to punctuate.)

BBW. Big Beautiful Woman. At first thought this conjures images of say, Anna Nicole Smith, or someone of the like. But unfortunately, not all larger women are that attractive. I don’t mean to be an asshole, it’s a fact of life. People would rather have sex with someone who is above average as far as their sex appeal is concerned. Where the fuck did you think the term ’sex appeal’ came from?

Hell even I know that on the one to ten scale, I’d hit maybe a 6-7. But I still regard myself as a 9. It’s not so much actually being attractive, rather being satisfied with the way you look and being in that mentality.

However, when people start regarding themselves as a 12 on the one to ten scale, when they are really a 3, that is annoying.

I’ve been bored lately. I’m not talking about the “There’s nothing to do bored.”. I mean, immobile, stagnant and dull. And it’s been like this for too long of a time, and it finally got to me.

I have a confession. Just a few hours ago I purposefully smashed a pane of glass with my fist so I could take a trip to the hospital purely for the change of scenery. I think even the doctors knew I did it on purpose when I went admitted myself with infinite calm and lucidity. Or perhaps when I told them the anesthetic wouldn’t be necessary.

I’m ashamed. But at the same time relieved. I feel like I ‘did something’, if you will.

I can’t get over this, I’ve been listening to this song on a continuous loop for the better part of …5 minutes.

But that doesn’t make it any less good. I think I’m going to burn a CD and go drive around just to listen to it.

On a side note, what was left of the crappy filling on one of my front teeth broke out. I knew it would eventually. I swear to God if I could just get my hands around the neck of the endodontist who did my root canal…

Anyway, I need to find a dentist pronto because the pain is near untolerable. I’m scared to call though, because I am currently uninsured. God knows what it would cost.

Got my new Combichrist album today. Looking forward to listening to it. Yay!

So I can legally drink, gamble, and carry a gun.

…Now what?

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I think I’ll apply for my CCW, go to Wendover and get drunk.

Made some fixes.

- Changed the ‘Bored?’ list to an unordered list to prevent the seemingly unfixable number overlay onto the sentences. (By the way, I still encourage people to submit ideas for the list.)
- Resume updated…sorta.
- Rearranged the left nav.
- Added a new list of shit that bothers me. After all, I’ve been in a very “I HATE STUPID PEOPLE!” mood the last few weeks.
- Backend MySQL table corrections that are of absoluetely no consequence to you, but I’m telling you about anyway in order to patronize you whilst inflating my undeserved sense of self worth and conceit.

Sleep time.

Not because I am a Night Elf Hunter, but because it’s clever.

…Yeah.

First, credit where it is due. Vann, awesome blog title. It works so perfectly.

I just saw a bulletin with a list of “facts”. I’m sitting here beside myself in disbelief. It actually got me upset and angry. I could not believe that anyone would so mindlessly feed into this stupidity.

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Example 1: 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

I don’t even need to go outside and try this in order to tell you it’s bullshit. Brake Fluid is inert. Only a fool would put a chemically reactive substance into a high pressure hydraulic system.

Example 2: 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

Apparently the Law of Conservation of Matter and Energy is no longer applicable. So unless this cat imploded on itself whilst throwing up, the fact remains that ‘Matter cannot be created nor destroyed.’

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If I dictated the country, I would issue a standardized test. If you failed, I’d have you systematically exterminated. Starting first with the people who don’t have the capacity to know not to believe everything they read.

That is all.